Your eyes spelled out that ennui
Gone that special touch for me
Where are those notes you used to send
I can sense this is the end
Your rosy scent I can breathe
No news for so long, so I seethe
Once you channeled all your life
Now you choose not to be my wife
Must I now capitulate?
Drifting in an inky state
Drenched with tears cold to the bone
Now condemned to walk alone
Please generate some hope for me
List all I could do, you'll see
A single smile, one warm glance
To show I still have a chance
Just what can I say to you?
To show I'll be ever true
And what gift can I render?
Proving my love is truly tender
Image found at www.cinema52.com
I'm afraid once it's reached that state, all one can do is wrap oneself up in what's left of dignity and show by one's graciousness just how mistaken one's the departing partner really is.
ReplyDeleteTwo words of advice
ReplyDeletefish and sea! :)
Seamless use of the given words and clever rhyming couplets as well . Good one !
Oh dear, sounds like the end and I doubt you will manage to buy back her affection with a gift. Time to move on methinks.
ReplyDeleteThat third verse is brilliant...captured every sense - the cold...the emptiness..and the inky state - what a wonderful but also lost place to be in (at times)...maybe the smell of that place is unique and indescribable but it's still there
ReplyDeleteIt seems like begging and that isn't a very good place to be...you tell it well.
ReplyDeleteHow very sad. This impassioned plea must surely win her over.
ReplyDeleteHaving been in this situation, the only possible answer I can give to the last stanza is: Nothing.
ReplyDeleteI've lost a loved one once before and it is hard to cope with. Eventually I figured out a way to move forward, and that was the motivation that I didn't want to feel miserable anymore. I wasn't myself in those darkest of times. So it was an adventure on its own.
ReplyDeleteNow she can gets closer to business, farther from heart...with the offer from 4th stanza. The question: would he likes this side of the relationships?
ReplyDeleteHeart-wrenching...but beautifully written. The fourth verse is my favorite. I love the way you used the words so effortlessly!
ReplyDeleteHope springs eternal!
ReplyDeleteA truly sad romantic poem .. and hope it's nothing more than the muse musing ... very well written it simply glides!
ReplyDeleteSad poem because you could read as that he losing his wife to Mr Death. And he not ready to deal with that reality.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine what this would be like, but you've written it very well so that I sympathize.
ReplyDelete