Delving Deep

She took my hands in hers
Looked first at my palms
Then deep into my eyes
My heart just like a drum beat
As she read me, knowing me
Scouring, scrying my past
And reading the future
By her diviners ancient art
Delving deep into my soul
Parting the web of my mind
Uttering a rattle in her throat
That slowly receded to a gasp
She opened her eyes wide
Only then to cry out
Staring at her fingers
Spread wide overlapping
Like a spiders web
All the while chanting
Some ancient dirge
Sending chills through me
She now knew me totally
Traced the thread of my past
From ages long gone
Expunged all my sins
Both known and unknown
Then plunged her hands 
Deep into a pouch at her waist
And plastered my face
With a cleansing powder
Then uttered so quietly
"You are welcome here stranger"
As I blinked and bowed my head
In grateful acceptance
For had wooed a village maiden

Image found at www.dustontheshelves.blogspot.com

Note: I have used the word "scrying' as telling of both the past and future.

The Return Visit (Dum Tales 25)

                        Wild Turnip

After the visitors had gone Dum and the other men of the cave tribe discussed what the other tribe had said and their enthusiasm to share each others knowledge. Some men were wary thinking it was a trap, merely a pretence to assess the cave people’s strengths and weaknesses.

Dum merely shook his head and said. “I expect for some time now we have been sending signals to them with the smell of our meat being cooked on the fire. They have concentrated on harvesting fruit and vegetables but this does not fill their stomachs in winter. They are right we could learn from each other or better still trade with them.

Later that evening Yum wanted to know what the men had decided to do. Yum could see him smile in what little light was left as they prepared to sleep.

“I said I would visit them with you to show that we have no guile but trust them. When they heard that others said they wanted to come too. But I think it should be a just a small party and we should take a gift to thank them for their offer.”

Yum laughed, “Will you take them a basket filled with gifts?”

She could just see him nodding so she reached up to him and pulled him down to lay beside her. “Do you think they will let us meet Song?”

Dum merely said “You must tell me all that you have told her, for she may have already suggested to her tribe what we have done and what they might expect from us.”

A few days later Dum, Yum carrying Lara and two other men set off to visit the other tribe with gifts to exchange. Wara their boy stayed at home with Dong.

They took some time to reach the other tribes settlement. They were guided by Yum telling Dum where they had met Song before and by the smoke from fires that could be seen in the sky. The other two men followed warily.

Clearly that had been sighted as soon a group of villagers came to meet them and escorted to the village. A level area had been cleared simple timber huts had been built in a circle with a fence or stockade around it. Separate from the settlement were other fenced areas that seem to contain merely vegetation.

They were directed to an open area where the men that had visited them we there to greet them. They were encouraged to sit and one man welcomed them to the village.

Dum went forward and placed the gift basket on the ground in front of him. “My name is Dum, this is a gift for the village” he said “The basket is made from woven reeds and has many uses. There inside are some flint spear heads and a knife made from bone that can be resharpened on sandstone. There is some smoked meat in the basket too. These men that visited us,” here Dum indicated the men that he had met a few days ago, “They tasted this meat which is preserved by us.”

The man who Dum assumed was their Leader nodded his thanks. “We will show you around our village. I see you have brought a woman with you. Is she your spirit woman?”

Dum smiled “No, she is my wife and this is our younger child, she has come to show our goodwill and she will observe what your women do, then tell our women of your ways. This is because a woman sees with different eyes to that of a man.”

The Village man laughed and nodded. “Come let us show you how we live and how we grow food to eat close by that we do not have to look for, then one of our women can show Yum around the village.”

                                  Wild carrots 

So for the next hour or so the visitors saw the rounded timber huts whose roofs were covered with reeds. They inspected the area set aside for growing vegetables which were now ready to harvest. 

When they returned to the village Dum asked innocently, “You mentioned you have a spirit woman. Who and what is such a person?”

“The spirit woman is the one that tells of an approaching storm, she will help heal us if we are sick, she will tell us what is good for us and what is bad.” He then paused “I am surprised you do not have a spirit guide too.”

“Perhaps she looks after all people not just your village,” said Dum. Then in all innocence he said “Does she live in the forest, in the sky or in the sea?”

“No, she lives with us in that hut at the edge of the village.” He pointed to a small hut. “She told us to find you. She said that you were the leader with only one eye who would bring his woman.”

Later after they had agreed to continue to exchange ideas they walked back to their cave. The other men that came with them were carrying vegetables from the garden area; Yum however unknown to the others was carrying Lara as well some seeds which had been given to her by the village women.

                               Wild Sunflowers

The tribes unite (Dum tales 24)

                              The visitors return satisfied

Some visitors came to the cave one morning who said they came from a clan not far off and then waved his hand vaguely to the south. While one spoke to the men Yum and Dong kept their heads bowed listening but apparently not taking any notice of the men talk. Yum was still feeding Lah-Lah even though she was nearly weaned. They called her Lara now which was a name that she would use when she grew up. It was a name of a bushy shrub that Song had shown them which could be used in cooking or as a medicinal plant for upset stomach (Laurel or Bay leaf).

Wah-Wah her son also had a grown up name and he was now Wara which meant water. Normally a person was named Wara as it was hoped they would be the one to find drinking water in hard times. Dum however had called him that as it was difficult to keep him out of the water whether it was the sea or even a stream as he would be the first one to jump in.

The visitors clearly were making suggestions to their men that they should join together to keep the areas they lived in under their joint control. The discussion was long and obtuse as the men of each camp tried to explain or determine what advantage there would be in the proposal. Dum however did not say a lot and as the talk seemed to be getting nowhere.

Finally Dum pointed to his one good eye and said “I may only have one eye but I see clearly. You have come now because you need us. Here we decided some time ago we would not be wanderers but stay here because we can survive in both summer when food is plentiful and in winter as well because we have found out how to survive when food is scarce.”

The men from the other clan nodded in agreement.

“If you too have done this why do you need us?” Dum then asked.

The visitors then put their heads together and after some discussion the one who seemed to be leader spoke up.

“We have heard that you do things that we do not. You eat more food from the sea than we do and you catch animals and birds in different ways to us. Perhaps in exchange for your ideas we could show you what we do.”

Dum laughed, “You have been watching us yet do not understand what we are doing. What can you do that would help us then?”

Again the visitors bent their heads and murmured among themselves.

“We need you to make our tribe bigger, to be stronger and to resist our enemies. We do not wander either but we stay because we grow our food where we live and do not need to search for it. We store the seeds and fruit that we grow so there is food to eat in hard times. Perhaps a bird that flies has told us that you keep meat and fish for a long time without it going bad. We should exchange these skills of ours. In this way we could reward each other for being friends by sharing this knowledge.”

Dum turned to the men in his tribe and said “Do you want us to continue talking or is there nothing we can learn from the visitors?”

Yum caught his eye and indicated she wanted to talk to him. So Dum held up his hand and said to both his own men and the visitors “However we welcome you. Let us eat together now then we will decide”.

Yum then said quietly to Dum, “Perhaps it was Song that suggested to the men in her tribe that they should come”.

At this Dum nodded without giving anything away.

After the visitors has shared some food with them they commented on the taste of the smoked fish and the other food that they were offered. Dum meanwhile had spoken to the men in his tribe and when the joint discussion began again he announced, “We have long been concerned about the need to be safe and to provide for our families through all the seasons. The wind has blown this way and that and in doing so has shown us how to survive. Perhaps for you too spirits have spoken to you too and suggested that we should share our knowledge. The men of this cave are willing to exchange ideas with your people so that we can live together as one”.

The men from Song’s tribe nodded in agreement and it was agreed they would visit and reward each other by sharing their knowledge not knowing that Dum already knew about Song.

Yum looked at Dong and said “Good, more honey for us”.

Lucy May

Lucy May was a delightful girl

Straight fair hair no sign of a curl

Darkest eyes and luscious lips

And nose to kiss so it was bliss

Until my hands did wander

She looked at me so stern

And shook her finger “You must learn

Trust not lust remember 

Until I get to know you better”

Easing up my youthful ardour

Slowly I was able to pierce her armor

Her good advice so you see

Brought marriage and children three.

Be careful Ahuahu (No. 90)

The continuing story of Ahu and Ahuahu her husband in a Maori village in Aotearoa before European settlement of New Zealand. (Have you missed an episode? Click on Ahu in the labels bar for previous posts)

Hinewai agreed to accompany Houhia as she showed Tiemi the pakeha botanist the forest so he could list the plants that were not known to the pakeha. Until Hinewai could make time to go with them Tiemi was permitted to visit rhe sea shore to note the plants and dunes there.
Hinewai meanwhile had spoken to Ahuahu about Tiemi. “Be careful, Ahuahu.  He may seem friendly but he too may be being used. The pakeha will send such men to assess each area to see if it is worthwhile for their use…for farmers and miners and the woodmen. Remember never, never accept pakeha money when they want to visit you or hunt in our land. There have been many Maori that find that by accepting pakeha coins they have given away their land for all time. Pakeha buy land by giving their money for it not by fighting for it like we do. They pay us to use the land but steal it as they have given you money. This laughing man may be innocent but it is not him who is the danger but the men who send him and want to take our land away from us.”
“Yes, Hinewai you are right we can trust none of them. But how can we get him to tell the other pakeha there is nothing here for them?”
“We must show him that there is nothing worthwhile here. Let him use all his energy in seeing what he has already seen.  The pakeha know already of the big trees where Torangi and Hauku live and have started to use them, we do not have big trees like that. They already know of our hot springs but they do not like them” she said with a smile. Maybe they are looking for metals in the ground and for precious stones. There is no secret about where agate is found but they are probably looking for gold that shiny yellow stone in the creek beds. The pakeha value that very highly.”
Ahuahu shook his head “No, I think they might be looking for good farming land. We are in the foothills of the mountain that catches fire. The soil is always good for growing here except by the beach. Young Tiemi will tell the authorities not only of the plants that grow here but of the soils they grow in. How can we stop him?”
Hinewai’s eyes laughed. “We do not have to stop him, Houhia will.”
Ahuaha looked doubtful, “She already looks at him with soft eyes. We cannot ask her to deceive him.”
“Houhia will laugh with him but she loves the forest, she will not let him see too much but will use all his energy looking for things that are not there.”
Later that evening Tiemi told of his walk along the beach and of the plants he found there. Houhia asked if he was looking for something in particular.
He nodded and said “Yes it is a plant we call Cook’s Scurvy Grass but I did not find any it is a yellow flowering plant on the shore whose leaves can be eaten to ward off scurvy which is a sickness that travellers by sea get if they do not eat vegetables. The sea journey to England lasts many months depending on the winds and the season and the seas currents. You can never take enough vegetables with you. You can get very sick indeed.”
Ahu eyes lit up but said nothing and when she noticed Hatiti looking at her she shook her head as if to say “Do not speak even though we know of it”.
When all the talk was over, Ahuahu spoke to Tiemi alone, “Hinewai will be able to go with you and Houhia tomorrow. Ahu notices the way she looks at you. I know that you make her smile but I also know that many pakeha have wives in their own country. Do not make the mistake in thinking that she is like the Maori girls at Big River who just want presents and to have a good time. You are in danger here, our law will protect her not you. If you have an accident we will return your body and all you belongings with great ceremony to your countrymen and say how much you were respected. Be careful on our land Tiemi and what you say to Houhia.”
“Houhia has already told me that I must be careful not to drown in the sea or be crushed by a falling tree. I do understand what she meant Ahuahu.”
“Good, but I was thinking that you might fall in the boiling water at the hot springs.”
So the next day Hinewai, Houhia and Tiemi set out to walk along the beach northwards then to head inland through the forest and make a big circle to see the various plants closer to the beach then climbing slowly up to the forested area where the trees grew large and the undergrowth dense and the light was dim. They each took cutting tools and bags to carry their finds. Houhia would know the names and properties of the plants they used and Tiemi would apply his botanic skills to work out what family each plant came from. Hinewai would watch and listen for danger in the forest and from Tiemi.
At one time Tiemi found himself alone with Hinewai. He looked around and then looked at her questioning her with his eyes.
“Are you worried Pakeha?”
“I was worried about Houhia.”
“She is at home in the forest. Don’t you feel at home pakeha?”
“Why do you not call me by my name, Hinewai?”
“Why remember your name when it needs to be forgotten? I do not think the forest here likes the look of you. Do you know how you can make the Maori happy…Tiemi?” She asked. Then before he could answer she said, “By sailing away and not coming back. You are killing us.”
Suddenly Houhia returned silently appearing through the bushes and stared at them both glaring at each other. She put her finger to her lips and motioned them to squat down in silence and pointed to a partially cleared area close to where she had come from. They stayed still for a few minutes and then a Kiwi nervously emerged and brought two chicks out with her. Houhia again held her fingers to her lips as they watched them pecking and scratching at the ground. Slowly the Kiwis moved through the clearing and back into the undergrowth and were gone.
Houhia looked at Tiemi and saw him writing in his book. “This is the land we love do not take it away from us. What have you collected so far?”
Tiemi showed them some of the plants he had collected and wrapped up. When Houhia saw them she shook her head. “This is wrong pakeha, you have the earth with the plants. That is our land. We said you could take the plants for they will grow again. But the land is ours and must not be taken. I wanted to like you but I see now that we are being used by you again. Will you take away everything I love and is ours even the ground we walk on?”
Tiemi looked from Houhia to Hinewai and in horror he saw she now had her dagger in her hand. “Houhia is right pakeha, from now on we will check everything you take. We so wanted to trust you” growled Hinewai.
Clearly Ahu had spoken to them both last night.

A close friendship

I must be careful

Not to hug you by mistake

For you would clout me

 

How many seasons

Have we two played at this game

Close but still distant

 

Winter when we met

I saw strength and confidence

We were unalike

 

In Spring you blossomed

Full of life and hope for love

Yet sad when his love went

 

You let me touch you

We talk and trust the other

In our joint sadness

 

You laughed as I flirt

With your affections in that

Autumn of my life

 

I must be careful

Not to hug you by mistake

You would still clout me

The Tail End

(Mark and Marina the mermaid part 10. Click on Mermaid in the labels bar for previous episodes.)

I expect you want to know whether I ever saw Marina and our merchild Ocean again. Doing what is right is never the easiest course. In this case I had no say I was given just the one option of being able to see both Marina and our son Ocean again just once a year in mid winter on a beach not easy to walk on even in the holiday season when the access was merely difficult let alone the winter when it was quite hazardous as in the cold and wet there was the danger of high seas and punishing winds. So it was that I made my way in the pre-dawn on that shortest day of the year to the beach where we had first made love.

The wind blew coldly, the full moon was reluctant to be seen, and there was rain or sea spray in the air that had swirled inland from the turbulent waters. Curiously I wasn’t worrying for myself but for a year old baby swimming with his mother coming ashore to see his father. I wished I had a blanket to wrap him up in; I certainly needed one. The pale wintry dawn was thinking about if not actually promising its arrival as I sat down in as sheltered position as I could find. If any seagulls had been given the task of calling out “Maaark” to alert me of Marina’s imminent arrival they had reneged and found somewhere else to shelter instead.

“She will come, she promised,” I kept saying to myself. I assumed she would check for all possible threats and hazards before arriving, so waited patiently. Just after dawn I saw her beach herself and I ran excitedly down to her side on the vacant shore.

With my arms wrapped around her I cried out “Where is he? Where is Ocean?”

“In the water at my feet.” She said calmly, “He will not surface until I give him the signal.” Then with no apparent signal from her at all he came up alongside her and she placed an arm around him. I had been parted from them too long; clearly she had used telepathy to signal the all clear.

Still holding on to her with one hand I reached out and touched his hand with mine. Even at that young age he glanced up at her, received a nod of approval (and hopefully a telepathic message as well) put his lips against my hand and sucked at it. I had such an overwhelming feeling of love for them both that Marina smiled at me and said “I wasn’t sure that I would still love you the same way now I have him to care for, but I do. You have made the impossible, possible. He is healthy and learns easily and when I look and touch him I am reminded of you every day.”

“Is it difficult surviving in the sea and having the responsibility of caring for Ocean too?”

“The sea is always unpredictable but we expect that, most of the living things in it are that way too. Understanding the ways of the sea and of sharks and other predators is a defence but it is not foolproof. But we cannot survive on land; you may love me and protect me but how many other men would want to kill me just because I am different. How many large and magnificent fish are caught by you not to eat but merely for pride? The turtle population is dying out because some of your people are eating or selling turtle eggs. Do you know how few of their hatchlings survive? You humans are always upsetting the balance of nature.” Here Marina stopped and smiled sheepishly “No, not you Mark, you are redressing the balance. There will be one more merman thanks to you.” She lifted her head to receive any messages and sounds from around her, then continued. “Come into the water Mark and this time we will try for a little mermaid.”

“I didn’t think you would want me again, Marina. But we cannot if Ocean is swimming around by us.”  I didn’t mention how cold the water was which would surely dampen my ardour.

“Ocean is a baby; as long as he knows I am near he will not worry so long as he can sense I am happy.” She paused here then whispered shyly “How else will he learn?”

So tentatively I removed my clothes and entered shivering into the cold waters alongside them. She pulled me out to the deeper water and enfolded me in her arms and we made love in the occasional light of the moon. Every now and then I would feel a flick of Oceans tail as he swam around us just happy and reassured to be close to his mother. By now however I had got very cold and was breathing heavily; gasping in fact.

“I must get out of the water, it is too cold for me,” I told her. She pushed me up on to the shore pulling Ocean along with her.

“He knows you are to be trusted now. He has received signals of happiness when I am with you. But we must go now.”

I reached out for Ocean and he came to me. I held him in my arms and hugged him and his fingers touched my nose and my mouth and he poked me in the eye. Then I kissed him and let him get back in the water. I looked back at Marina and she was laughing with happiness at the pair of us.

“We will see you next year,’ she said taking my hand and placing it on her rosy tummy. I expect she was hoping that she would have another little merchild; well I certainly hoped we were and I kept my mind focused on that coming true too.

However I never saw her on that beach again. Just a few months after our winter meeting and after suffering a heavy bout of the flu I read that the little bay where we had met and fallen in love was to be developed as a port for shipping bauxite or some other ore being mined some 100 kilometres inland from the sea. A huge construction of a jetty, gantries and conveyor belts was well under way by the following winter and Marina would have never dared to land there now with her children.

Reading this story you may have guessed that our love always conquered every setback. So I visited the same secluded site on the south coast many months later where Ocean was born and discovered I was father to a baby mermaid, Selena; but that’s another story. I must stop talking to you now or else one day you will work out where to find us and I just cannot trust you…you are human aren’t you?

Sensation at Black Sands (Ahu's Story Part 13)

Ahu and Ahuahu had been at Black Sands now for some months. They no longer lived with Atahai the old widow as their house has been completed with the help of Ahuahu’s new friend Kamaka. They now fished together and would laugh a lot. Kamaka had a son a few months old like Tangaroa and two daughters from a previous wife who were in their teens, Hinewai and Hatiti who was the elder. The girls would do everything together often to be seen hand in hand as they wandered about in the village.

Kamaka’s wife Hoata and Ahu became friends and tended the vegetable plots and gathered fruit with their young babies jiggling around on their backs. The two teenage daughters would go down to the beach after the men had been fishing to help bring the catch back to the village.

After one good day fishing Kamaka told Hinewai to help Ahuahu drag the boat up into the dunes while he and Hatiti took the catch back to the village. It was hard for the two to push and pull the large canoe well above the tide line. Hinewai said “I am tired I wish to sit down and rest” and with that sat down on the sheltered side of the boat. Ahuahu continued to stow the ropes and paddles safely until he was satisfied all was well.

“Come sit by me, and tell me about the scar on your face.” Said Hinewai cheekily.

“No we should head back to the village,” said Ahuahu holding out his hand to help her to her feet. She took it, held on and with the other hand reached out and touched the scar on Ahuahu’s cheek. As she did so Hinewai looked directly at him and smiled, not only with her mouth but with eyes also.

“You should not have done this” he said releasing her hand. He turned and set off for the village alone. Hinewai continued to smile, “I think he likes me“ she said to herself.

Later that evening when Ahu and Ahuahu were at their house together, he said, “Ahu, I have to tell you something.”

Ahu nodded and kneeled down waiting for him to speak. Thereupon Ahuahu recounted what had happened. Her heart fell. She could say nothing, but her tears said everything. Wiping them away with the back of her hand, she finally spoke. “Do I not please you still?”

Ahuahu nodded. “You know that I love you. What should I do?”

“You must go to speak to Kamaka now, before there is talk.”

“Now?”

“Yes, the whole village will be talking about it in the morning, Go now.” She pleaded.

With much sadness Ahuahu went round to Kamaka’s house and called out to him. “Kamaka, I wish to talk to you.”

Kamaka came out of the hut, and walked up to Ahuahu.

“Kamaka, you have been a good friend to me. I need to tell you that Hinewai touched me on the face when we were at the boat. Ahu said that I should speak to you.”

Kamaka smiled. “Yes, I know. The girl has been beaten.”

“How did you know?”

“They are silly girls Ahuahu. Hinewai just had to tell Hatiti what she had done. I should have beaten Hatiti too, but I could think of no good reason. I trust you Ahuahu and you have honoured that trust by telling Ahu first. But now we will have to see who else may have seen her touch you.”

Clearly someone had seen Hinewai and Ahuahu as the rumour spread around the village early the next day. By noon the sensation was forgotten Kamaka and Ahuahu were still speaking and laughing with each other and Ahu was looking after two babies while Hoata was digging for oca tubers in the thick vegetation. However Hinewai and Hatiti were still giggling making new plans.

Note: In Polynesian culture there are touches that are not appropriate, e.g. do not pat older people, as you would a child or pet; do not touch the head, not even playfully, this applies to all age groups and do not presume to touch older people unless they touch you first.

Recollections of a warped mind No 1

Many years ago I fell in love with Connie. No, that is not true, I lusted after her. She was young enough to have been my daughter. She was a young tracer in the Drawing Office where I ran a section in a now defunct government department. She was assigned to me and in the days of very short mini skirts she used to attract the attention of all in the office when she worked on her drawing board, getting off of her stool, standing up and bending over to reach the top of the plan she was working on while the eyes of males around admired her pretty frilly briefs and curvy youthful thighs. Once she was mine to supervise, I tactfully told her of the distraction she was causing. She was surprised, but not offended by my mentioning this and somehow she seemed to bond to me after that. I became a second father figure to her so I alone was allowed to admire her legs and bum and sweet face and also to share all her confidences. These included the disaster of her leaving home to share some digs with a girlfriend as well as learning that the reason for leaving home was the impending split up of her parents. Later I had to enthuse over the news of her new boyfriend at Uni and their future plans culminating in her marriage where both my wife and I were invited to the ceremony. I said to her before the big day “I’ll be there but you won’t see me”. She looked at me puzzled “Of course I will” she retorted. Later after the honeymoon when she returned to work she had to admit she hadn’t seen me.

Her skirts however became longer. She still needed to talk about her life though; so their day to day problems were brought to me, such as the need to find a decent flat for themselves; the frustration with her husband’s little foibles such as how scruffy he was and their grand plans of building their own house in the foothills outside of town and him starting his own business. I was always there to nod and sympathise and let her give vent to life’s frustrations.

When she talked to me it was ostensibly about work but I could tell when it was personal when she would plonk the plans she was working on onto to my desk and draw up a seat and get close enough so no one else could hear what we were saying. I must confess as I perused her work and checked it, my hand would occasionally stray and touch her hand as we discussed everything under the sun other than plans she was working on. This was a very pretty hand, albeit with a wedding ring on. She never withdrew it straight away but contemplated our joint misbehaviour and then gradually took that temptation away. This was never done in such a way as to say don’t do it next time which was just as well as fingers were touched again on many occasion.

Many, many years later as I recall those years, I wonder what on earth I was thinking about. However when you come into contact with a beautiful person who you can bond with and clearly like each other, how do your show them? I never kissed her other than one peck on the cheek when she was heavily pregnant as I presented her with a gift from the office on her last day at work.

I know what I was thinking about. It was telling someone that they were special. She knew I cared for her and thought she was beautiful. She also knew that she could trust me to keep what she said to myself alone. Even that time she said “You don’t think I am getting varicose veins on my legs do you?” showing me some flesh above the knees. I must confess I never even told my wife that.

Mantra

Outwardly he was always calm,
serene of face as though some balm
had soothed his worries all away
untouched by traumas of everyday.

Intrigued I asked of him one day
What it was that made him this way
a simple smile I got in return.
"There is a lesson you must learn."

He said "the secret is young man,
and don't forget it if you can,
that when the gift of peace you need,
say the name of one that will lead

you to a state of bliss that puts all,
cares and worries into a ball,
that you can throw away and find,
there's nothing left to sear your mind."

Puzzled and unhappy with his replies,
I forgot this sage's words so wise
Until much later into my life
And found that when I had a wife

With love as precious as pure gold
It was her name I could say so bold
That filled me with a strength so great
that my fears and cares did abate.

Can you keep a secret ? (or a Recipe for disaster)

I walked along the beach last Tuesday. There was hardly a breeze and the late Autumn sunshine quickly warmed the nip out of the air. The tide was out and it felt really good to be alive. After setting a brisk pace for some minutes I slowed down and looked for a convenient rock to set myself down to contemplate the waves and offer the gulls a crust of bread.

It was wonderful just sitting there. The gulls once the bread ran out lost interest in me and flew off to fossick in the shallows or find other benefactors. I leaned back and shut my eyes, letting the sound of the waves and the warmth of the sun seep into me.

"Can you keep a secret?"

I opened my eyes to see who had said those words. By my side not two metres from me, also sitting down, was an old man. He must have crept up while I was drifting off. His small wiry body was enclosed in an old pair of striped trousers and a turtle necked sweater. He sat forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands, tortured with arthritis were clasped together. As I looked round at him, he too, looked toward me.

He repeated, "Can you keep a secret?"

"It wouldn't be a secret if you told me."

His face, care worn, tired, wrinkled and brown, seemed so sad I wished I had not tried to be clever.

"It will be your secret then, not mine," he said wearily.

"Why me?"

"Somebody has got to take it, then I can go."

"Is it a good secret?"

"No."

"Why should I be the only one to keep it?"

"Because it is dangerous to let anyone else know about it."

"How do you know I will keep it a secret?"

"When you know the secret, you won't dare to tell anyone about it."

"I am sorry to keep asking these questions," I said, feeling now that I was talking to a looney. "How can you dare to tell me?"

He kept silent for some time. The waves continued to break unceasingly on the shore.

"My time is nearly up. There is only one person that can hold the secret. I have searched many years to find a successor. Someone who will keep the secret. I thought I had failed. Now I have found you. If I cannot pass the secret on it will mean the end of the world. It will be the end of time. You won't let that happen, will you?"

"How can you be sure," I interjected.

"Please say you will accept the secret. Do you want to risk the end of the world if you don't take it?" The old man now looked decidedly unwell.

"Is that the secret?"

"No. Will you keep it if I give it to you?"

I decided there and then to take the secret. Not because I wanted to know it, but more because I wanted to appease the old man. He was clearly getting upset. Perhaps he was unbalanced. It wouldn't hurt to take his secret from him.

"If I take it, when do I pass it on?"

"More questions?" he asked. "Don't you see,? You pass it on when you are likely to die. Will you accept it?"

"Yes," I blurted out. "What is the precious secret?"

He certainly seemed relieved when I said yes.

"Good, good," he nodded in satisfaction.

Once again a silence ensued. Then slowly he unclasped his hands, and thrust his right hand into his trouser pocket. He drew out an old tobacco tin. Then with an almost theatrical reverence he handed it to me.

"This is yours. Never ever share it."

I was about to open it up, when he shook his head violently. "No, No. Wait till I have gone. Look at it at home."

With that he got unsteadily to his feet and shuffled away over the sand, he painfully pulled himself up the ramp to the esplanade and then disappeared from sight. I thought about what had passed, and convinced myself I had been taken in by the old man's warped sense of humour.

I stayed where I was for a few more minutes then walked back along the beach, up the steps at the kiosk end to get back home again. As I was walking along an ambulance sped by. As I passed another walker said.

"Probably an oldie at the end of their time."

A shiver ran through me. Could it be the old man, who had told me that it was his time to go? Eventually I got home. Lucy greeted me at the door.

"You were a long time."

"I got waylaid on the beach."

Lucy then looked at me in very strange way.

"When you were out there was a phone call for you."

"Who was it?"

"I don't know. But all he said was to tell you, 'Don't even tell your wife. Remember Eve.' What secrets are you keeping from me and who is this Eve?"

"Nothing dear. I don't know any Eve. Did you recognise the voice?"

Lucy shook her head. "What have you been up to?" She asked suspiciously.

Then I remembered the tin.

"Just a minute," I said. With that I went into the hall and then into the bathroom, locking the door after me. I took the tin out of my pocket and sat down on the toilet seat. I slowly opened the tin. Inside was a little card. On it was written just four words. The words were..."No, hang on, I can't even tell you, can I?"

I turned the card over. It was blank on the other side. There was nothing else in the tin. What did the words mean? I said them out aloud. Then I read them again, stressing each word in turn. Over and over again I read the phrase. Lucy knocked on the door.

"What are you doing in there?"

"Won't be a minute."

That silly old man had set a poser just to niggle me. Meanwhile Lucy was getting fractious outside.

"I'll have to call the Fire Brigade!"

I came out of the bathroom. I told Lucy about the old man on the beach. She was most intrigued.

"So what is the secret?"

"I can't tell you."

"Oh! Come on. I'm your wife remember?"

"I'm sorry Lucy. I promised."

"You promised to keep a secret for a dirty old tramp on the beach. I can't believe this."

Lucy was certainly annoyed.

"Look Lucy, I don't know what it means even. When I work it out, perhaps I'll tell you then."

This seemed to satisfy her for the moment. But I had forgotten how persuasive she could be when we were in bed together. Sure enough when were cuddled up together she brought up the subject again. It's very difficult to keep a secret with a very friendly body wrapped round yours.

So I told her. Time just stopped at the very moment I shared that secret.

There was no big flash, no big bang. It became very dark indeed. No moonlight, no stars, no streetlights. The bedside clock radio no longer worked, the power was gone. There was no movement, no noise. The world had just died with just a little whimper. That whimper was mine, when I realised what I had done. Life cannot exist without time. Our lives were over, we were quite dead. There was no Time! All because I couldn't keep that secret! My last thoughts were of the old man looking at me and sadly shaking his head.