I really hate change

I really hate change, unless it is me
It's my choice to be who I want to be
But with others I firmly disagree
I really must end this verse with an 'e'

I am joking of course but we should all
Accept changes even they do appall
You wouldn't think that I would have the gall
To finish verse without a rhyme at the end!

Forgive me I like to have just one joke
For I've always been that sort of bloke
Forever laughing as I write each stroke
As though my finger does give you a poke

Enough of the silly childish banter
You'll think of me as a silly ranter
I'll soon be speeding off at a canter
Christmas shopping calls so might meet Santa!

Image found at https://pixabay.com/photos/santa-claus-christmas-christmas-tree-3858846/

My cat Monk

I watched my dog leaping through the paddock
The tall grass no impediment to him
While sat and meditated with Monk my cat
Who adopted us when sat on Welcome mat

Should have called him Tiger or Bravado
As he didn't know what cowardice meant
But he learned a lesson one winter's night
When sat in front of dog when fire's alight

Only to singe his fur which caused quite a pong
But Monk is now protected by the dog
Having learned lesson to make him his friend
Quite happy with that, so this is the end

Image found at https://www.catnaplazydog.com/

Boys night out

Father and son to the pub they go
To quench their thirst on this cold night
Downing beers and ales to their delight
Sozzled faces gleaming with a glow

Meanwhile the missus at home alone
Watches the television sat down
Now ready for bed in her nightgown
Starved of love, dreams of another one

Who rescues her from her parlous state
And on his horse they gallop away
She holds him tight for a night of play
Their bodies entwined 'til very late

Meanwhile the men sway with the grog's grip
Get cluck from the barmaid and the boss
Against their will from the inn are tossed
So wayward home do stumble and trip

A blast of night air cools their spirits some
As they battle the wind's icy blast
To reach their own front door at last
And find missus nursing a pillow at home

Image found at https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/92816442301554733/?lp=true

Thank goodness

A streak of lightning in the sky
Rattle of thunder comes on by
We are destined for night at home
Natures drumbeat we don't deny

Not that I mind the simple life
Cuddled up by fires roaring flames
Her sweet face beams at me a smile
As she askes me "Music or games?"

Sat now by the warm fireside hearth
As love songs seranade us both
Scrabble done she beat me at that
Cards done too, we're now mouth to mouth

The lights now dimmed the rain still falls
Bright eyes glow I unfasten dress
String of kisses, nose, cheek and lips
I wonder if she will acquiesce?

I touch the seams, I feel the sheen
As she snuggles so close to me
I could list more but knock on the door
Parents are home forgot their key

Thank goodness!

Image found at https://www.cottagegems.com/cottages-2-with-open-fire/

I woke one morning

I woke one morning
Stretched and looked out the window
The choice was all mine

Shower, shave, set out
City bound work as usual
Or stay home, garden

The answer was plain
Rosemary made it so clear
We were both in love

Image courtesy @magalyguerreroindarkerwords

The last straw

I wonder whether the creator being in forming the Earth zillions of years ago thought much about that last link in his or her jigsaw puzzle of this planet Earth that was humankind?

I am sure natural selection was planned so humans would forsake their apelike cousins and think things out a bit more than other species.

This was probably a test to see how far they could go to improve their comfort by keeping warm in winter’s snow and ice and shielding themselves from the sun as the sun beat down in summertime.

I bet he was so proud as tools were made and holes dug and all the things on earth were used to make human’s families safe and well and speaking of that how pleased he must have been when the first well was dug to find water when the rivers and streams ran dry.

Then over the last few hundred years he must have sat back in pride to see how well sickness and diseases were controlled and cured but a little concerned that his humans kept of finding ways to make explosions to fight their neighbours who looked or spoke differently from each other.

The last straw was when mankind decided to change the climate by burning the forests, polluting the seas and creating waste and killing off all the beautiful creatures and plants that he had formed millions of years ago to keep everything stable so he or she sadly shook his head and said “this is the last straw it is time to break that link, we will send them all to Mars.”

Image found at www.newstalk.com

My grey smoky world

I was born into a grey smoky world
Much like the coal in the lounge room fire
Father, uncles, grandfathers smoked away
And some of my aunties dared to as well
They all puffed along as life was so grey

As soon I was aware I looked around
Britain was a very grey place indeed
Smoke belched from nearly every chimney
In wartime bombed buildings did so too 
Caused fog in town making it hard to see

Then when a teen tried my first cigarette
Under the bushes with my friend at school
For a lark hoping we wouldn't be seen
But we were so we both got our hands caned 
Which put me off smoking as a teen

With freedom from school and a job as well
Got me tasting every fag in the land
But girlfriend didn't care for smoky kisses
Soon after deciding she was the one
Tossed the habit and made her my missus

Image found at www.smile-onnews.com

Please note this poem just has a little truth in it 

Schooldays remembered

Young Ted was a rebel
And always up to not much
Hiding in the corners 
To keep from teachers touch

When on the sportsfield
He'd find a shady bower
Open up his fag pack
To wile away that hour

I'd join him once or twice
To share a cigarette too
Were the the plucky twosome
But got the cane, Boo Hoo!

Image found at www.dazeddigital.com

The Picnic

I could never understand

The logic of eating “en plein air”

A habit for which I had no care

My little heart would fall

When each event was planned and

Preparations made and put in hand

All but me were so excited

As hampers filled with food and drink

And even Dad would nod and wink

The trip was hell as discomfort reigned

Brother and sister jumped and played

In the car as I sat dismayed

And when we found the spot to sit

Far from home and comfort’s bliss

I would more and more my teddy miss

Parents sat and children scattered

But soon this changed as did the weather

As ants attacked and wasps did gather

Our food was clearly the attraction

As crawling emmets were pulverized

And wasps were flicked away from eyes

The clouds that up to now had taunted

Now let loose their fury wild

And Mum was no longer mild

With hasty packing we left the field of dreams

And turned my day from a nightmare

To head for home without one care

And when that night with Teddy tucked

Picnics I prayed from me please keep

and slept that night in blissful sleep

This poem is an oldie of mine from 2012 that deserved an airing. PS: Emmets are ants

Image found at www.adeptpest.com

How I used to be

Oh mirror just why do you fail me now?
Emphasizing lined eyes and wrinkled brow
And what are these tufts of hair in my ears?
Which are bigger now than my younger years

Once I grinned at you with such manly pride
But now each morn I really want to hide
What is worse is that pesky bathroom scale
You have crushed the vanity of this male

Just where has that young and handsome man gone?
Flirting with cute lasses egging them on
Pretty girls in the cafe now look at me
Wondering how this old guy used to be

Image found at www.susaara.com/looking-in-mirror

My bus was late

My bus was gone so I sought shelter
With the rain pouring helter skelter
I huddled in the closest doorway
A sex shop, great way to end the day!
More to the point it was open still
A dog sneered at me with looks to kill

Two girls wilth umbrella passed me by
One sang out "Go on in don't be shy"
"Have you got your eyes on us pair?"
"Get us a dildo while you're there"
A taxi drives past, the brakes are hit
As I wave it down to get in it

Girl's jealous stare and now do entreat
So we all packed into the back seat
"Sorry" says one, "We also missed the bus"
"Thank you for taking pity on us"
"We have been hit on a hundred times"
I feel the heat of her thigh sublime


Image found at www.lonelyplanet.com

I very nearly passed this one over trying to think what to write with the prompt words. Luckily my muse appeared at the right (write) time...she is a good girl!

The Pest

Give that man a standing ovation

Just look what he’s done for this nation

He’s very well dressed

He’s feathered his nest

Says he’s doing his best

But wears a bullet proof vest

Give that man a standing ovation

Just look what he’s done for this nation

Our economy’s gone west

Our wages buy less

Now who would have guessed?

He’s on a world wide quest!

Give that man a standing ovation

Just look what he’s done for this nation

A new initiative? - just give it a rest

His policies are but a jest

Oh why are we so blessed?

How can we get rid of this pest?

Many years ago I wrote this short poem presumably annoyed at the performance of a politician in Australia. Needless to say all these years later I have forgotten which incompetent leader it was now. But times pass, wheels turn and heads roll and the sun comes up each morning to give us hope.

Image found at www.cartoonstock.com/

Me and Annie

The last verse of  Edgar Allan Poes poem "Annie" is this one: 

But my heart it is brighter
 Than all of the many
Stars in the sky
 For it sparkles with Annie
It glows with the light
 Of the love of my Annie
With the thought of the light
 Of the eyes of my Annie

Following years of controversy of the meaning of Edgar Allan Poe's poem I have dared to include a final verse he may be thinking of adding now.

For we are now together
 As I lay on her breast
Safe warm in bed
 The best of my loves was Annie
Together in bed
 How I love my dear Annie
Surely all has been said
 Now please forget me and Annie

Image found at www.flavourmag.co.uk/

Bored dog

I miss having an animal in the house whether it be cat or dog or even a budgerigar singing away unaware that he is in prison.

Dogs and cats however don't feel this way for one feels it is one of the family and the other thinks it is head of the family.

Most dogs in our home thought they they were just another kid with special privileges such as missing out on school and being able to piddle in the garden rather than in the toilet.

Cats were rarely bored and if there was nothing to do they would sleep on your lap when you wanted to be busy or dig their claws in you just for fun.

When bored, dogs found their own pastimes by chewing socks and toys or going to sleep in the middle of the afternoon on your bed for you to find it unmade when it was time for your sleep.

He would then wear a cheesy grin as if to say "Well I am one of the family, what are you moaning about? and you would shake your head and forgive him anyway.

Image found at www.unleashedlife.com

Caught in the act

I tried not to listen
To the vapid conversation
At the adjoining table behind me

My wife was unconcerned
Merely tucked into her entree
Clearly enjoying it for all it was worth

I stood it no longer
Dropping my napkin on the floor
Saw the loud bouncy blonde smiling at me

I'd been caught in the act
My wife found it hard not to laugh
She'll want an expensive dessert now

Image found at www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com

The sun's radiance

The sun's radiance warmed the room
As she rose to make a cup of tea
His snoring had kept her awake last night
A groaning rhythm made her want to flee

She place a cup at his bedside
Then took a shower and dressed for work
Did household chores at which she was adept
The vacuum now roared to please the jerk

The radio was now on full blast
Song's rhythm now put smile on her face
She sang along to "Walking on Sunshine"
Hearing him groan from that inner place

Image found at www.jpiservices.net

Walking on Sunshine was a hit for Katrina and the Waves in 1985

How about the blue one?

He had put on his dark blue suit
And was still tying his striped tie
Meanwhile she stared in the mirror
Wondering what on earth to wear
She could just see his reflection
He didn't really want to go
With his hungry eyes on her
Meaning he'd get less not more of her
She was so glad she had found him

"So what do you think" she then asked
Pointing to the gowns on the bed
"How about the blue one?" he asked
"To match your tie, why not the red?"
Her eyes twinkled in the mirror
"A red tie makes me look angry
So no one else will dance with me
And I'll be the wallflower" he moaned
She laughed, it just didn't matter

Image found at www.chatelaine.com

She was a marvel

She was a marvel

So sweet and lusciuos

So much like the meals she cooked

That was her forté

Much more than a game

Beautiful big girl                                                      

Cute plump round buttocks                              

A voice like a parakeet                                           

When in the kitchen                                                      

Flicking her blonde hair                                     

Yes she was the chef                                          

Me, I kept well clear                                            

Sitting at the front counter                                     

We met much later                                                  

Two lonely people                                                

Was a game at first                                                 

Nagging each other                                                          

About our jobs in the hotel                                     

Were both on the shelf                                        

And knew it was right                                        

Then we made love                                           

That turned things around                               

We’d start our own restaurant                    

So thumbed our noses 

And started afresh 

Image found at www.dreamtime.com 

I hate poems

Sitting in class
My body tenses up
As I battle the foe
English grammar again

Each Monday morn                         

Sentences me to hell                     

Lingering torture                            

Tense over tenses 

We’re encouraged 

To write just a quick draft            

On any topic we like                    

Essay or poetry                                 

I hate poems                                     

And feel so redundant                   

When others put up their hands   

To voice their opinion                     

"Do not forget                                     

Start with introduction                     

Say what you want to say              

Then a conclusion"                         

"When writing poems                       

Repetition is good"                           

She drives home every point        

Only fragments remain                  

Pity my brain                                     

Excess information                          

So write about football                                    

And how I loved that game                        

I hand it up                                                        

I get such a good mark                    

She says you have great style 

By writing what you know      

Image found at www.old.ubyssey.ca

Election time in Australia

Election time hurrah!
In Australia now
If registered to vote
It is compulsory
It is mandatory
Your really must do it
If you don't you are fined
But that is still OK
As all you have to do
Go to the polling booth

Get name crossed off the roll

For then you can decide

If you want to or not

You could fold up your paper

Without a mark on it

Place it in the ballot box

Then have done your duty

Your vote is informal

Just doesn’t count at all

But if you really care

Who governs the country

Your representative

That’s for the lower house

You must number every box

In preference order

For the Senate it changes

You number six at least

Above the special line

In the little boxes

Representing parties

But alternatively

Below the line you can

Vote for individuals

But in order of course

Numbering at least twelve

Finished? Very well done

If only we could get

Government we deserve

After all that hard work

Image found at www.straitstimes.com