Down in my bones

Oh it's down in my bones I feel

I'm not the man I used to be  

Where is that boy that ran about 

And lived a life full of energy

Yet now I am but a pale visage

I find it hard to walk down the street

But I still love life it is so sweet

I would feel grateful in my bones

But they moan a lot when I walk

And I seem to groan as I talk

With my walking stick in right hand

I'm shorter too sinking in quick sand

Or that is how it seems to me

Wishing for life as it used to be

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The cups rattle

The cups rattle
Here comes the tea
We are visiting grandma don't you see

The house is dark 
The lights don't shine
They're not put on 'til dinnertime

She thinks we're deaf 
She shouts at us
She lost her hearing aids, not us!

Hear the rattle
Brings in a tray
As her best china's on display

Filled with pleasure 
She pours the tea
Now she splashed it on wife and me

Aloud she shouts 
She's much to say
Visitors are few down her way

Brings out album
Of pictures old
Strange people huddled in the cold

She nods and smiles 
Her past recalled
Reliving moments quite enthralled

Rain in England
And snow in France
Her eyes light up as memories dance

Her fingers move
It's time we went
She clings to us her back is quite bent

Few weeks later
Heard that she'd died
Harmless Gran, we were sad and both cried

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With stick in my hand

Had nothing to do
Need somewhere to be
So I went for a walk
Just where could I go?
Perhaps down the beach 
Breathe in the sea air

The walk was not far
With stick in my hand
Not many around
Watchng clouds and sand
Soon standing at prom
Kids play without care

Did I bring wallet?
I fancy a sit
At café for drink
So walk a long way
To find the right place
Kath's Kafe by name

Girl behind counter 
Smiles sweetly at me
Took order, that's done
A 'cappo' and cake
Grabbed paper to read
Do a crossword game

Found table with view
People watching's good
Better than the news
Coffee came along
Waitress smiled at me
Life's a poem dear

Age sees world anew
Fold hands to relax
Spilt coffee down shirt
Woman grins at me
Matters not, I'm old
I welcome each year

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The good old days

The finches chatted in the trees
Then flew to ground to pick up feed
Then up again, wind swirling round
I glanced at them, reading my mail 
Rarely sent this digital age
Makes oldies go off in a rage

Posties delivering less and less
Spam callers on home phones each day
Kitchen fridge piled with post-it notes
Filled with ready cooked frozen meals
Greasy home cooking rare sight now
No burnt knuckles or scalded brow

Why curb my needs to do it now
Wanting those old days back again
Don't spare me doing things myself
Just in case the power cuts off
Yes, Let's get water from a well
Get the night soil man call as well

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Please forgive my dark humour here as oldies do tend to yearn for the past while they forget the disadvantages of the good old days when some necessities were quite primitive!

I wonder...

I wonder how long I will live?
Now my brain is much like a sieve
Will I live in a comatose state?
Sadly being force fed
Lying in hospital bed

Will I keep writing useless rhyme?
Just to pass away my time
Will I wander round retirement home?
Chatting to garden gnomes
Because they are all alone

Will they find me watching TV?
Dunking biscuits in my tea
Trusty notepad at my side
Happy in my later years
Writing tales of joy and tears

...you can count on it!

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Shall I tell you?

Shall I tell you about my first love?
The thrill to hold her warm hands in mine
Her laughing eyes her cute turned up nose
Everything about her so divine

I liked the way she lay her sweet head
On my chest on green hills grassy slope 
And raised her head when she heard my heart
Beating fast with such desire and hope

It's funny loving someone this way
As the whole world now belongs to you
The sun, the moon, the wind and the sea
You're filled with such strength you never knew

The world's your oyster with much to try
And when you're young changes come so fast
There are now others flirting with you
Not long one smile and the bait is cast

Broken hearts end in Cupid's trash cart
Did you lose or did you not succeed?
Love when young is so expendable
Affairs when when your poor heart did bleed

When you lose that one that's been your life
Rage and loneliness overwhelm you
You see them in your dreams every night
Every moment recalls your love so true


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Love that lasts

I shouldn't have but I didn't care
I held her hand walking home from school
Our satchels on opposite shoulders
But everyone guessed we were such fools

I kissed her in her front room at home
And gently touched her arms and soft breasts
Heard her mother at back door come in
"Whose this" as girlfriend adjusts her dress

"Oh yes, I do remember your dad"
When we both tell her just who I am
Hoping she doesn't see girl's loose clothes
But think I'm as innocent as a lamb

How I loved this sweet girfriend of mine
And liked it when we walked near and far
Across field, in woods and running streams
Sadly in the end she said "Ta ta"

It's been sixty years since our last walk
Both married going separate ways
Our spouses left us now, their time came
So now we write in our final days

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Christmas organised

My grandfather grunted
As was his way
Family gathering
Was not what he wanted 
This Christmas Day

With boughs of green holly
Decorations too
The smell of sweet balsam
Kids brought the foliage
What a 'to do'!

Ma said give him a dram
That's what we did
Church bells were ringing
In city spires down town
Us they did bid

So we all went to church
Except Granddad
All rugged up in our coats
Kids vainly wished for snow
Grownups quite glad

Grandma glad Dad refused
Said he'd just moan
We looked at the bare trees 
At church got to squeeze in
Pew of our own

Going home Grandma said
A letter came
From a retirement home
Reserving them a place
(Won't be the same)

But thinking it over
Their worries cut
In future was our turn
To organise Christmas
No ifs or buts

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I stay about an hour or so

My word you are beautiful
Like sun setting in the west
Skittish, laughing, hard to read
Head full of untold secrets
An old one that knew so much
One who has travelled so far
But are those tears in your eyes?
Closing them as I hug you
Remembering infant me
Time, tick, tick, ticking away

Your worn hands reach up to me
Compare me to my father
"I'll get you a cup of tea"
She says to me now smiling
Forgetting she is in care
But the trolley's coming round
We both get one and a biscuit
Hers shaking in her old hands
"How is...?" My wife's name is blank
So I talk about June then

I stay about an hour or so
Chatting; she patting my hands
Slowly she closes her eyes
I leave when she falls asleep
But she may not remember
That I came, but that's okay
Better than pleading with me
To take her back to my place
So hard to handle last time
Carers had to calm her down

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Sweet memories

Happiness in love with you
The look in your eyes 
The touch of your skin
The kiss of your lips
That feeling within
At our secret rendevous

Little tricks we did employ
The nods of our heads 
The jokes of our own
Our fingers entwined
Soft whispers alone
With you our lives to enjoy

There's such joy on your sweet face
First baby comes along
Then came number two
Given dog no less
What a delight with you
As we moved from place to place

You sit in chair across the room
Nodding off to sleep
I recall those years
Happy we did much
Though there were some tears
Sweet memories of your groom

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Still I dream

Now I have a morbid illness
Still I dream of so many things
Knowing I'll never leave this room
Laid here without friends is my doom

Each morning, daylight, she teases me
"Hello" the care staff cheerily say
"And how are you today" I frown
Danger, I joke "I'm off to town!"

They laugh, not seeing my sarcasm
Giving me my cartload of pills
Eight months now in this living hell
I'm in a trance, all is not well

Sleep has led me to happy days
Kissing my love on her sweet lips
Wife and kids playing on the beach
They're there but I just can't reach

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Feeling guilty

The stars wink out as night's silence is broken
Early birds start welcoming dawns gift of day
My brain charges me to get up like a child
Whose only options are to eat, sleep or play

So I do, out of the blue, jump out of bed
Skip shower, don jeans and sneakers "Hello Day"
It's a bit drafty out here, don't care, I'm wired
I'm off, I'm happy, don't care what you all say!

I"m on the walking trail, not many about
Just a twitter and hoot, but look there's a Jay
Tinkle of water means a stream is nearby
I stray from the path, take care, don't lose your way

The water's so clear and the bottom is sand
I sit on the bank, fish fry darting in play
And all manner of things, and weeds wave to me
Squeak behind as grey squrrel says "Go away"

But the clouds have come up; pity, just my luck
It looks stormy up there and now it's quite gray
That has marred my wonderful adventure out
Feeling guilty; as what will the nursing home say?

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That's best for me

I'm an old man now
Like to use the stairs
As I've always done
For so many years
I've stumbled once or twice
Which isn't very nice

There's a lift to use
But I'm scared of it
I might get right in
Then it will not go
I've just pressed button 3
I hope that's best for me

Well bless my socks
My that was quick
I'm such a dunce 
It opens at once
I'm where I want to be
So no more stairs for me

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The mirror and I

The mirror and I have never been friends
I don't see how we can make amends
The image it has provided me with 
Reflects not me but some ugly myth

Perhaps I've seen too many movies
With me a star dating lovey-doveys
I am quite tall surely that must count
But with rippling muscles I really don't

So I shun the looks of that wall hanging
And walk the streets with my heart banging
Smiling eagerly at all the girls
Especially ones with long blonde curls

I don't know what the problem is now
All they do is laugh and jeer, I vow
As in the park the flowers I observe
"Go home granddad, you've got a nerve"

Later that evening the mirror glints
There's an old man in the shadowy tints
I sigh deeply and must accept the truth
I really am an old man now "Strewth!"

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Roused with a gentle kiss

I want my childhood back
Running off down the woods
To shimmy up the trees
Swinging from the high limbs
Like Tarzan in the films
A friend of monkeys too

It's not a crime is it?
To make a wooden sword
From bits found in Dad's shed
To strap around my waist
So I can chop my way
Through thick jungle trees

Sadly I was dreaming
Roused with a gentle kiss
While I was flying high
Hanging on a jungle vine
As childhood merged slowly
Into old age once again

My dear wife smiled at me
Grinning like waxing moon
My dreamy adventure
Eased the sting of old age
But what joy to relish
This dear woman I loved

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Just one more winter

My warm breath steamed out
The cold winter had come
My fingers were blue

Sad crimped grassy tufts
Hung yellowing heads in shame
Cold stones stared at me

Still I took a walk
Boots cracking the ice puddles
This cruel seasons work

Tree limbs bowed with snow
Mine too seeped with distant dreams
Of life as it was

Workers out early
Overlapping the piles of snow 
To get traffic through

Just one more winter
Old age is like that all year
A tree branch snapped off

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Who am I?

Just who am I now?
Not a baby in a crib
Not a toddler running free
Not a boy on his bike
Or that young scout on a hike

Just where have I gone?
Hand in hand with a girl
Having a drink in a bar
Playing sport at the weekend
Wishing Sue was your girlfriend

Just when did I start work?
Seeing the world out there
Flying high in the sky
Going places far and wide
With a wife now by my side

Just how did I grow old?
Family all moved away
Living here, living there
Alone after all those years
Time ticks by shedding tears

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How I used to be

Oh mirror just why do you fail me now?
Emphasizing lined eyes and wrinkled brow
And what are these tufts of hair in my ears?
Which are bigger now than my younger years

Once I grinned at you with such manly pride
But now each morn I really want to hide
What is worse is that pesky bathroom scale
You have crushed the vanity of this male

Just where has that young and handsome man gone?
Flirting with cute lasses egging them on
Pretty girls in the cafe now look at me
Wondering how this old guy used to be

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Stop bagging me

I waddle like a penguin now
How this happened I know not how
After all those long years alive
Like a mouse into a hole I've dived

Bell, book and candle I need not
I really have not done a lot
I've walked around the forest green
Travelled the world, so much I've seen

Spent some time on a drawing board
Led a peaceful life without a sword
Carried trays in for a sick wife
Knew where to place both fork and knife

I have picked oranges and other fruit
Furnished houses that looked real cute
I'm prattling on like a broken disk
Stop bagging me or off I'll whisk


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My eyes saw

My eyes saw her, foolish senses
Always leading me astray
My heart beats faster now
Checking out the good bits
Which we used to say as boys                                    

Childhood innocence now long gone
Swings and roundabouts laughing on
Puff! Its all gone up in smoke
Our temples sweat at the sight
Now that sweet miss eggs me on

Life's is just like a long race track
First uphill then on the flat
Our words leak all awkward like
Then smoothly as life we grasp
But all's now gone just like that

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