Saturday 15 October 2016

Bus trip


City lights now fading
The overnight bus pulls away
I sat at the back

Crawl through the suburbs
Faster on the open road
My heart beat slower

Pretending to sleep
Leaning against the window
Dark trees whistling by

The flashing headlights 
Slowly disappearing now
Heading out of state

Worries now fading
Insulating myself now
From being followed

I could kick myself
For parking my butt with her
Her man flipped his lid!

Was he in a spin
Exploding like St. Helens
Mimicking the man

Lava then oozing 
From the guy's crater rim mouth
Lucky I escaped

Bus crossed the state line
First small town is my limit
I promised myself

I must grow a beard
Then I'll get myself a job
Go easy with girls

Image found at www.edizon.net

24 comments:

  1. Excellent description of the bus ride....your persona made me laugh. The idea of you" parking your butt" just does not ring true.(Still laughing)

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  2. You made this bus ride come alive. I find myself wanting to know why he decided to leave and just where he was destined to go!

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  3. cool, oldegg, go easy on girls...

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  4. Night time bus ride do have a magic - you're sort of coconut from whatever is chasing you - until you get off of course (so to speak;)

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  5. Great story. Glad you got out safely!

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  6. The great escape! I went on the overnight coach to Scotland last month - just thought I'd mention it!

    Rosey stays overnight!

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  7. Uh oh. Crossed the line, eh?
    Nice change for you.
    Randy

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  9. great escape. may i suggest... job before beard?

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  10. There is something exciting and mysterious about a night time long distance bus ride - the perfect vehicle on which to pin a little mystery. A cool piece of writing.

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  11. Suspense! I know this persona is not you ... but I want to hear the rest of the story. As is, it also works as flash fiction.

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    1. Having ridden buses both in daylight and dark, you capture the feeling of the ride very well,

      Elizabeth

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  12. Ha, this is a story I imagine has happened a time or two...though not to you. You got the voice exactly right.

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  13. ha, I would like to hear this traveler's story, it reminded me of perhaps a tour bus for a band. You know some of those guys get into trouble on the road.

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  14. A lot can happen on a bus trip. Lesson learnt and one is more prepared now! Good humor Robin!

    Hank

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  15. Oh the great escape!!

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  16. Yup! I agree with your conclusion.
    ZQ

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  17. The suspense was killing me! I hope he gets the beard... and the job. ;-)

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  18. Delightful narrative, Robin 💖 You made the entire scene come alive!

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  19. Probably a good idea... I can see a shotgun wedding next time.

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  20. The bus ride ends on a promising note. I hope the rider gets what he dreams of!

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  21. Vividly created! I love your stories in verse.

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