Friday, 21 October 2016
It was her eyes
I was all but eighteen
She'd put a spell on me
It was her eyes of course
Green like a forest oak
Limbs twining around me
Mix of pleasure and pain
I hardly spoke to her
Just smiled thinking that best
It was her eyes of course
For I stood not a chance
As she set me aflame
I knew I must kiss her
She has read my poor mind
A smile benign at first
It was her eyes of course
Welcomed me to her arms
On her bosom I lay
Her will was mine that day
I woke changed, a man now
The sad forest whispered
It was her eyes of course
Sparkling now in the dark
Fading as she left me
The moon hiding its face
I still think oft of her
Others now cannot please
It was her eyes of course
Holding me in her trap
Whispering in the trees
Ever to be her slave
Image found at www.warriorsofmyth.wikia.com
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Whistles!!❤️💖 This is absolutely incredible writing, Robin. I love you emphasize upon her lure and charm. The repetition works really well to set the tone and mood of the poem especially; "It was her eyes of course holding me in her trap whispering in the trees ever to be her slave"..an unforgettable write! Thank you so much for participating at Prompt Nights and for your constant love and support❤️💖
ReplyDeleteLots of love,
Sanaa
This is very powerful writing. This put a lump in my throat, as I know it well:
ReplyDelete"The sad forest whispered
It was her eyes of course"
This is why I try hard not to meet other eyes.
❤️you sound like such a happy slave❤️❤️
ReplyDeletemuch love...
"it was her eyes of course" wonderful writing, I could sense her power and allure, and,,,,all the rest :-)
ReplyDeleteOh the repetition works like a charm!
ReplyDeletewhoa - authentic - a true poem of our youth eh?
ReplyDeleteYes eyes are magnetic..maybe that woodland path was a little more heady
ReplyDeleteThe siren! The response! It was ever intended that those eyes would pull that they would remain a muse from then on. Great poem.
ReplyDeleteAs others have suggested the refrain works so perfectly, Robin. It gives power--and a sort of eeriness--to the spell.
ReplyDeleteThis together with the image makes me think of mythology, of falling in love with nymphs.. of being bewitched... lovely and the eyes of course.
ReplyDeleteThis is my absolute favorite of yours, you have captured the magic and allure of that spell, it was in her eyes of course :)
ReplyDeleteIndeed, I think oftentimes it IS the eyes that really get to the heart of the matter!! I know myself that I always notice a person's eyes first...there is indeed something about the eyes! Well penned, Robin!
ReplyDeleteLove that line: "It was her eyes of course" - something happy-go-lucky ... and yet: wise, about it.
ReplyDeleteIt was her eyes of course
ReplyDeleteHolding me in her trap
There has to be something captivating on the person that brings one closer. The eyes have been known to be bewitching!
Hank
Ah, a magical being. No doubt those eyes cast a spell!
ReplyDeleteThe repetition gives the eerie feel of the spell. I was drawn in, spellbound too.
ReplyDeleteAnd so is the fate of the beguiled.....XXX
ReplyDeleteBeing enslaved might not be a bad thing!
ReplyDeleteThe has the feel of La Belle Dame Sans Merci...hauntingly classic.
ReplyDeleteEnchantingly beautiful!
ReplyDelete