I leaned over the side
Of the old canal barge
My face was reflected
With the billowing clouds
Foam from the rudders blade
Was strung out behind us
Now we were slowing down
As we approached the lock
I could see the carp now
Their fins were emerging
I felt a wisp of Sue's hair
As she leaned over me
She touched my shoulder
Her grin reflected below
I'll kiss her at the bridge
Hope her dad won't notice
Normally observant
He watched me like a hawk
But his concern now was
For this boatload of grain
The light filtered away
I spun around quickly
Kissing her sweet lips
Good, she was not surprised
She held on tight to me
We parted as it lightened
I turned round and looked back
His eyes were on me now
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I spun around quickly
ReplyDeleteKissing her sweet lips
Good, she was not surprised
There are times when one needs to act and react fast or opportunities will just fizzle away. Agreed Robin!
Hank
I've always wanted to do a canal boat trip. Hard to better that one though.
ReplyDeleteWhat a ride!!! So much soft romanticism.
ReplyDeleteha...a neat action..hawk has no chance :)
ReplyDeleteFathers, daughters and boys! Delightfully romantic.
ReplyDeleteVisit Keith's Ramblings
A watchful eye never hurts - like a barge all things must go at a steady pace.. i love your storytelling in this one
ReplyDeleteLove, love, love this :D such a sweet and romantic write 💖
ReplyDeleteWhen the cat's away ... yes I guess a canal ride would be a perfect opportunity. So sweet and romantic.
ReplyDeleteSomehow I think that the end of the poem is just the BEGINNING of the story. Smiles!
ReplyDeleteI love the way you captured this moment:
ReplyDeleteI could see the carp now
Their fins were emerging
I felt a wisp of Sue's hair
As she leaned over me
Ha...caught out by your future father in law!You were lucky he did not throw you overboard.:)
ReplyDelete"I turned round and looked back
ReplyDeleteHis eyes were on me now"
Wow. Great ending.
Will be waiting for the next phase, Robin. That was a thrilling one :) Ah, memories
ReplyDeleteThis is sweet. You painted it so clearly, you took me there.
ReplyDeleteHappy for loves blossoming, nice write, thanks for sharing Robin
ReplyDelete💖
Much love...
A wonderful story.
ReplyDeleteZQ
This presents so many aspects — the essence of canal boating, the romance, the expected conflict And all woven from imposed words!
ReplyDeletestolen romantic moments! love it.
ReplyDeleteI like the slow build, the detailed setting for a stolen/freely-offered kiss.
ReplyDelete"Good, she was not surprised" - great line: human vulnerability tinged with the lightest touch of humor. The piece, over all, is "up there" with some of your best writing, Robin.
ReplyDeleteMy new favourite of yours.
ReplyDeleteReally nice. This might be one of your best, Robin.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet scene you have painted with your words!
ReplyDeletemindlovemisery
:D
ReplyDeleteenjoyed the sweet story!
Nothing like a stolen kiss to cement a romance!
ReplyDeleteAhhh, the romance. I love a good story.
ReplyDeleteahhh yes! you snuck one good kiss in. these are the memorable moments
ReplyDelete