"What if I said I didn't love you anymore?"
She didn't look at me when she said those cold words
I was drawing the curtains in the fading light
A black crow looked at me as if to say "Goodnight"
Then I remembered the first words I'd spoke to her
I'd said "What if I asked you to marry me?"
Recalled her grin and the sparkle in her eyes
As she held my hand expressing such sweet delight
Oh the years have passed and we've made a mess of them
I've strayed, she knows and has forgiven me...I think
But she's spent a lot of time going her own way
Craft and clubs which bored me but for her did excite
So sadly, gradually we drifted far apart
Now living together strangers in our own home
Never facing the truth that we might part...until now
"What if...?" she paused, "we parted?" in the fading light
As darkness fell, curtains drawn, we were all alone
I protested "I do love you still, believe me"
"I know" she said, "but I need to be free again"
The trouble was, I did love her, this wasn't right
"What if we sleep together one last time" I pled
She shook her head...but crawled in my bed at midnight
We wrapped each other in our arms and both cried
In the morn she'd gone like a whisper in the night
Image found at https://stock-clip.com/video-footage/old+couple/108
Sorry about this sad piece but I started writing and it just wrote itself as I seemed to be a bystander as I tapped away, with my muse dictating over my shoulder.
This one flowed effortlessly..you really took us into the scene
ReplyDeleteIt reads like that, like the flow, like the poet is riding the black crow "I was drawing the curtains in the fading light
ReplyDeleteA black crow looked at me as if to say "Goodnight" " And it made me think of Robert Frost, and then of your oeuvre--This poem's place in the romance, the what ifs--the possibility of this too--fits. Bravo!
Oh Robin, the closing stanza tugged at my heartstrings and watered my eyes.
ReplyDeleteIt is sad when we drift apart but still love, but love isn't enough.
A Bravo from me too.
Anna :o]
Very sad, but lovely too. I really enjoyed.
ReplyDeleteLove how the sadness is gradually being built up till the end. Bittersweet.
ReplyDeleteOh, parting is never easy. Life takes its turns and changes our relationships with others as well as ourselves.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to the goodbye, it hurts but it cannot be helped.
Sensitive and heartfelt.
-HA
the image of the curtain and it being drawn down on the night is so atmospheric, and really sets the tone, the ambiance of this scene; it plays out with a crushing sense of both agony and irony, because ultimately, sometimes love does mean letting go -
ReplyDeletewell written with a delicate sensitivity.
You have written this so well that one feels that midnight embrace. Just wonderfully written, Robin.
ReplyDeleteOh Robin this is so evocative❤️ the last stanza brought tears to my eyes.. sigh..
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sanaa: so evocative. And filled with such pathos! The last, heartbreaking stanza stays with me!
ReplyDeleteDramatic and very entertaining, Like a movie where they warn you to walk with your kleenex
ReplyDeletehappy Wednesday Robin
much love...
Some what ifs can break our hearts. So sad, but... at least, they had that last night.
ReplyDeleteyeah, sometimes love is not enough... sad but true...
ReplyDeleteThe opening stanza bites like a stab to the heart and I love the way you take us straight into the scenario with:
ReplyDelete'I was drawing the curtains in the fading light
A black crow looked at me as if to say "Goodnight"' and then into the past with the second 'what if? and the contrast between the cold words and the grin and sparkle.
The sadness permeates this poem, Robin, and left me with a tear.
Terribly sad and not uncommon. People nave irreconcilable differences,drift apart and split.Hearbreaking poem.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you opened this poem, Robin. Sad as it is, it is a common occurrence. People do drift apart. Heart-wrenching ending.
ReplyDelete