Saturday, 19 September 2015

How cruel we are


I can’t get over how cruel we are to coffee beans. Bred like battery hens in unending rows fed and watered never knowing freedom being raised for mankind's strange sadistic pleasure.

Then just as their mother feels that joy of procreation her countless children are ripped from her, dried out, tortured by roasting in some satanic ritual that has no kin to the natural world just to be encased in strange sepulchres of Hessian sacks and glared at, probed, tested and finally roasted and either crushed to crumbs or left intact entombed in glass or metal containers to be stared at by strange human beings who purchase these burial chambers and take them home to be placed in dark cupboards only to be worshipped at their bidding in further acts of bestiality.

These poor children’s remains and those beans who are not yet as dust are now sadistically ground in these animals homes and placed in sacrificial cauldrons and boiled gleefully with water specifically at the right temperature. Then to cap it all the hot sea of crushed coffee children is then placed in sacred drinking vessels whilst these insane humans sip gratefully at the hot mix muttering strange sighs such as “I needed that” or “I can’t start the day without my coffee”. I hope the guilt of their experience keeps them awake for such glee at our children’s funeral.

Image at top found at
Image at bottom found at


  1. A fine piece of prose and commentary Old Egg - i started with anticipation of a 'fun' story - but how clever you used the theme (and the beans) to pour out a cup of truth

  2. Really? I'm drinking my coffee at this moment!

  3. Blimey - I'm not drinking coffee in front of my class tomorrow! I'll feel too guilty.
    Visit my Sunday Scribble!

  4. An encomium to the lowly coffee bean! I never thought I'd see one, but here it is!