I sit by your bedside, you are fast asleep, but I still talk to you whilst holding your hand. You have been in a coma for a few days but I still visit you everyday just in case. I tell you what flowers are out in the garden, and how the fruit is growing on the apricot tree. The nurse then comes in to check your temperature and says "You have been in most of the day, why don't you go home and have a break?" So I do and find it is late afternoon so I drive back home to get a bite to eat. I throw something together and am just finishing it when the phone rings. It is the hospital, the nurse from the ward says, "I am so sorry. Your wife died just few minutes ago. Please do not rush back, there is no hurry". I thank her and tidy up, ring the children and then drive back slowly to the hospital as the street lights come on.
The sun has now set
The clouds drift into darkness
I kiss you goodbye
Image found at https://www.shutterstock.com
Present when my mother died. No marvelous Haibun to show for it, though. A transcript of her (few) final words did make it into a poem, though, and is included in my new chapbook. Made my siblings cry.
ReplyDeleteOh, the poignancy is palpable, the sadness all the more gripping in its control and calmness, and the expression profound in such images as a setting sun and the clouds drifting into darkness.
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This is so well written. It captures that terrible calm and eerie silence.A disbelief that the loved one has actually gone which occurs when you are informed of the death.Elicits painful memories.One of your best.
ReplyDeleteThis is so heart wrenching and captures the feeling of pain and loss so beautifully... 😓
ReplyDeleteOh my God..so sad. And the timing. This is beautiful and aching and so real. You put your heart into it and that is visible. Great piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteSo so sad... and sometimes you just wish it could be different... I love the end of slowly driving back in the dusk.... wonderful and sad writing
ReplyDeleteSo sad a journey, Robin. The haiku perfectly describes the mood of that drive back to the hospital. Beautiful.
ReplyDeletep.s. It is interesting to me that people often choose to make their passage when their loved ones are out of the room or away - as if their presence might be too hard to leave, so they wait till they are gone.
ReplyDeleteHeartbreaking. I'm sure she appreciated your visits even though it seemed like she wasn't there.
ReplyDeleteSo sad, Robin. It was lovely in the first half, before there was a hint of what was to follow. My mother-in-law died that way with the nurse telling her to go home. The wife is still very P.O.'d at the nurse.
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I have a tear, Robin. Your poem made me think of the last few hours by my mother's bedside.
ReplyDeleteSo unbearably difficult and heart wrenching...
ReplyDeleteYour words gripped my heart and wouldn't let go. I was at the bedside of both my dad and my brother when they passed on. This brought tears to my eyes.
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