Sunday, 5 January 2014

Stormy Weather



 

Bit of an error                                    

And nothing can save me now        

Sadly not my first                              

 

We were a good pair                                   

Her caresses now lost to me          

Might lose all contact                                   

 

Struck by lightening                          

The sky was angry like her                

I turned quite scarlet                         

 

She expected better                        

But I will spare you my tears            

Guilt behind my eyes                               
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20 comments:

  1. Jae Rose5 January 2014 at 02:55

    All storms must pass..in all senses..crisp words..striking..

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  2. kaykuala5 January 2014 at 03:47

    A loss in her eyes! The resolve on our own is of utmost importance as a back-up. Great write oldegg!

    Hank

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  3. aspiritofsimplicity5 January 2014 at 04:06

    excellent writing. So clear

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  4. annell45 January 2014 at 04:28

    More often than not, 'bit of an error', there is guilt enough for eveyone, for who has not stumbled?

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  5. Unknown5 January 2014 at 05:10

    Perhaps there will be a rainbow after the storm?

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  6. Laurie Kolp5 January 2014 at 05:31

    Quite the break up, huh?

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  7. Marianne5 January 2014 at 05:46

    Break ups can be like that … so much anger. So much passion. Well done!

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  8. Sabra Bowers5 January 2014 at 05:49

    Can't say why, but I noticed that the middle line of each verse would make a lovely poem...a four line poem. Well wordled, oldegg. I'm enjoying the idea of a poem hidden inside your poem. :)

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  9. brenda w5 January 2014 at 07:37

    Bit of an error... indeed!

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  10. Linda Jacobs5 January 2014 at 10:58

    Acknowledging guilt...so hard for some to do. I love your last line!

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  11. Anonymous5 January 2014 at 16:07

    The sky imagery works.

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  12. Anonymous5 January 2014 at 16:32

    I agree with Sabra, there is another poem inside of this one. I like the crispness of the speaker's voice, it suits the content and captures the emotions of the moment.

    Elizabeth

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  13. Ann (bunnygirl)5 January 2014 at 19:31

    All good things must come to an end? The lightning imagery implies a certain randomness, in spite of the speaker's professed sense of guilt. Hm.

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  14. J Cosmo Newbery6 January 2014 at 01:36

    Cycles, life cycles. Hold fast and wait.

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  15. flaubert6 January 2014 at 07:28

    Oh the cycles of life that bind us together. Well penned, Old Egg. Thanks for your kind words on my blog.

    Pamela

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  16. nan6 January 2014 at 08:03

    Sad. The recognition that she expected better...

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  17. Nonnie USA6 January 2014 at 14:58

    quite an enlighenment by you. I hope all is better now.

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  18. vivinfrance6 January 2014 at 23:58

    You wordled those words into a good story - I hope not autobiographical!

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  19. Anonymous7 January 2014 at 02:22

    Nice wordling - a graphic tale.

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  20. ms pie9 January 2014 at 14:54

    oh yeah, love the stormy weather in our words and emotions....... as if this was just a prelude to the real story coming....

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