Thursday, 26 June 2014

Now you have gone

Forgive me dearest
I threw away your diaries
For they hurt so much

As you battled on
Your pen wrote down everything
For those twelve long years

All the highs and lows
Noting all the transfusions
Springtime and in fall

All was recorded
Birthdays, anniversaries
Forgotten by me

I slowly lost you
To doctors and specialists
As you lost your hair

I wouldn’t let go
You clung to your family
But death tolled its bell

Now winter is here
It’s so cold without you
Now that you have gone


  1. Oh, this is so very painful. Difficult to live through. Difficult to look back on. And very well penned!

  2. Aww so sad but beautifully written. Sometimes we regret what we missed when a loved one is gone. Very touching poem.

  3. "Forgotten by me" is the very core of this poem. It is not the diaries that hurt! How long she battled to stay, how long she moved her fingers! This poem is so loving that it hurts--no, that's me who hurts. Sometimes we do not know how much love comes our way until it seems that they are gone. Thank you. Thank you.

  4. mmm...what a tension...between wanting to keep that connection to them...but then the tethering you to that loss as well...i wonder if i would be brave enough to let go of the journals...

  5. I understand why you got rid of the journals. The sadness returns in winter.

  6. A lot of subtle emotions in your poem, pain, sadness, guilt... I am not sure what I would do with such diaries. A very powerful write!

  7. painful to read
    words of the past
    she's on the page

    lovely as pages that have been turned so many times that they are worn and fragile

  8. This is so sad. I'm not sure I could throw away the journals. Very well penned.