Forgive me dearest
I threw away your diaries
For they hurt so much
As you battled on
Your pen wrote down everything
For those twelve long years
All the highs and lows
Noting all the transfusions
Springtime and in fall
All was recorded
Birthdays, anniversaries
Forgotten by me
I slowly lost you
To doctors and specialists
As you lost your hair
I wouldn’t let go
You clung to your family
But death tolled its bell
Now winter is here
It’s so cold without you
Now that you have gone
Oh, this is so very painful. Difficult to live through. Difficult to look back on. And very well penned!
ReplyDelete"Forgotten by me" is the very core of this poem. It is not the diaries that hurt! How long she battled to stay, how long she moved her fingers! This poem is so loving that it hurts--no, that's me who hurts. Sometimes we do not know how much love comes our way until it seems that they are gone. Thank you. Thank you.
ReplyDeletemmm...what a tension...between wanting to keep that connection to them...but then the tethering you to that loss as well...i wonder if i would be brave enough to let go of the journals...
ReplyDeleteI understand why you got rid of the journals. The sadness returns in winter.
ReplyDeleteA lot of subtle emotions in your poem, pain, sadness, guilt... I am not sure what I would do with such diaries. A very powerful write!
ReplyDeletepainful to read
ReplyDeletewords of the past
she's on the page
lovely as pages that have been turned so many times that they are worn and fragile
This is so sad. I'm not sure I could throw away the journals. Very well penned.
ReplyDelete