Sunday, 18 May 2014

The girl in the reeds

Her skin was like alabaster
Eyes pale as an early morning
She was from across the river

He knew he shouldn't look at her
She came from the high mountains
There altitude made breathing difficult.

They spoke a different language
They were warned not to speak
For they are not like us

His parents had warned him
Talk to them and there will be chaos
But she was so beautiful

As he looked through the reeds
He saw her with her family gathering clay
To make pots as there was none in the hills

Although he kept still and hidden
They were still alert watching
Like wild animals sniffing the air

So he moved not one muscle
Scarcely breathing, the girl came close
Plucking the flowers that grew there

Then she turned and stumbled upon him
Her expression changed from alert
To that of an overwhelming fear

He put his finger to his lips
Signaling, pleading silence from her
Graphically reflected his own fear

He glanced first at her face then down
Her feet squishing in the plastic mud
Where she stood staring at him

Finally she uttered her word for “Mine”
She clutched the flowers to her breast
Nodding in agreement he smiled at her

With this she visible relaxed
And stooped down to where he hid
Staring wonderingly at him

He offered a hunk of bread from his satchel
Doubtfully she took it from him
Nibbled it, looking at him all the while

“Gor” he said pointing to himself
Silent for a moment she then said “Bel”
“Bel’ he nodded approvingly

He held his hands open, palms up
Instead of doing the same
Bel nodded and placed her hands in his

Then almost in an instant she changed
She had heard her people calling
She cried out in reply “I am coming”

Sadly Gor nodded in despair
Reached up and touched her pale face 
As she was so beautiful

He uttered a one word question “Why?”
She lowered her eyes, then rose up
Returning to rejoin her family

She pushed back through the reeds
Watching, Gor willed her to turn around
To look back at him again

The force of his love was so great
That just as he was giving up hope
She did so and smiled for him.

Image from


  1. Waiter! Quickly! A cold shower to Mr Newbery's room!

  2. Sensuously a narration for a short story is in order. Beautifully led oldegg!


  3. Captivating... I would so much love to hear more about this... Is there a sequel planned? *smile* Beautifully written! Kudos!

  4. What a wonderful short story..there was a book/TV series here years ago about a half human/monkey called brought it back to life for me! i love those touching moments

  5. Poor Gor, all doubt and dspair Nice.
    Reminded me of something, so I looked it up. Maybe you'd like this:

    1. Thanks, the clip was great. I do tend to write a bit about women's eyes!

  6. So sweet. A very romantic moment neither will forget.

  7. An amazing idea, to make that mishmash of words into a coherent fable! I salute you for all the skill and artistry of this poem.

    Oops! THEIR altitude....:-)

    1. There is what I meant, as "in that place"

  8. What a tale --- love the element of forbidden love, and the sad end.. Oh I hope for a part II.. love have to be victorious in a case like this.

  9. Beautifully done! It oozes with romantic longing!

  10. I've enjoyed this tale, it drew me in.

  11. What a lovely fable you have created here, old egg. Thoroughly enjoyable read.


  12. Wonderful tale, maybe in the next poem they are reunited.

  13. What a wild story. *giggles*

  14. Tsk. And I thought I was the romance writer.