Sunday, February 24, 2013

Gazing




Being but a man

I have little discipline

And with no patience

 

Gazing as I do

In moments of sublime bliss

At unaware you

 

Quiet, heroic me

Know my limits but do steal

Pieces of your heart

 

As I smile at you

Despite the response in kind

I notice your tears

 

Would the prophets say

“Go, take this beauty and fly

Gently dry her eyes”

 

No, they would they say

“You are past this game old man,

Write it down instead”

17 comments:

  1. You're never too old to...
    Can't remember what I was going to say...
    Must be old age setting in...

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  2. This poem belies being "too old for the game" ... the passion pounds...

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  3. I'm laughing heartily at the last stanza. Maybe that's not quite the response you were hoping for, but I find it quite a delightful ending to this poem. Thanks for brightening my morning!

    Whirling Glimpses

    And while I'm at it, would you please consider dispensing with the word verification? It is VERY difficult to decipher,and is an impediment to those of us who wish to comment on your work. Thank you.

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  4. I appreciate the wry tone of this, Old Egg.

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  5. We are never too old to gaze..how can we know ourselves without gazing at others..

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  6. he he. No you're never too old. Made me smile.

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  7. Nice one....Last para was really nice

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  8. You will never see this because my eyes are too old to figure out those cryptic little messages, but enjoyed your story.

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  9. Love the haikus and am completely relating as I have little discipline or patience and am def. way too old. :)

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  10. I was reading this, and thinking "this is really sexy", and then the zinger at the end. And it made me laugh. Although I agree with some of the above comments, I am not sure that the rest of the poem supports the idea that the speaker is too old.

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  11. If there is the passion of desire, there is also the strength of determination. Write it down indeed, and then pursue, despite the fear of failing. Joy is in the trial flight!

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  12. It sounds like you have quite a lot of patience and discipline!

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  13. The tone here is one of resignation, and more sad than wistful.

    On a third reading, I sense futility. I've only read a few of the entries for this prompt, and that is what I'm seeing in all of them. My own included.

    Cheers!
    JzB

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  14. It all depends on how old SHE is!! I so appreciate wordles that flow together so very smoothly. Good job!!

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  15. I imagine that when the poem was finished...the writer went and kissed those tears away...

    Thanks for your visit...it only takes one fly for one prophet.

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  16. Terrific - bits and pieces of reality, to be sure!

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  17. Old Grizz understands completely...
    unfortuneately...awe...the dreams...the wishes...the stupid reality.

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