Gazing
Being but a man
I have little discipline
And with no patience
Gazing as I do
In moments of sublime bliss
At unaware you
Quiet, heroic me
Know my limits but do steal
Pieces of your heart
As I smile at you
Despite the response in
kind
I notice your tears
Would the prophets say
“Go, take this beauty and
fly
Gently dry her eyes”
No, they would they say
“You are past this game old
man,
Write it down instead”
You're never too old to...
ReplyDeleteCan't remember what I was going to say...
Must be old age setting in...
This poem belies being "too old for the game" ... the passion pounds...
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing heartily at the last stanza. Maybe that's not quite the response you were hoping for, but I find it quite a delightful ending to this poem. Thanks for brightening my morning!
ReplyDeleteWhirling Glimpses
And while I'm at it, would you please consider dispensing with the word verification? It is VERY difficult to decipher,and is an impediment to those of us who wish to comment on your work. Thank you.
I appreciate the wry tone of this, Old Egg.
ReplyDeleteWe are never too old to gaze..how can we know ourselves without gazing at others..
ReplyDeletehe he. No you're never too old. Made me smile.
ReplyDeleteNice one....Last para was really nice
ReplyDeleteYou will never see this because my eyes are too old to figure out those cryptic little messages, but enjoyed your story.
ReplyDeleteLove the haikus and am completely relating as I have little discipline or patience and am def. way too old. :)
ReplyDeleteI was reading this, and thinking "this is really sexy", and then the zinger at the end. And it made me laugh. Although I agree with some of the above comments, I am not sure that the rest of the poem supports the idea that the speaker is too old.
ReplyDeleteIf there is the passion of desire, there is also the strength of determination. Write it down indeed, and then pursue, despite the fear of failing. Joy is in the trial flight!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have quite a lot of patience and discipline!
ReplyDeleteThe tone here is one of resignation, and more sad than wistful.
ReplyDeleteOn a third reading, I sense futility. I've only read a few of the entries for this prompt, and that is what I'm seeing in all of them. My own included.
Cheers!
JzB
It all depends on how old SHE is!! I so appreciate wordles that flow together so very smoothly. Good job!!
ReplyDeleteI imagine that when the poem was finished...the writer went and kissed those tears away...
ReplyDeleteThanks for your visit...it only takes one fly for one prophet.
Terrific - bits and pieces of reality, to be sure!
ReplyDeleteOld Grizz understands completely...
ReplyDeleteunfortuneately...awe...the dreams...the wishes...the stupid reality.