Ahu and Hoata had gone to the forest to find a Hirau tree. Both mothers babies in slings on the backs and Hoatas step daughters with them too. Hinewai flirted with everyone but Hatiti confessed she wanted a husband like Ahuahu, Ahu's husband. Ahu and Hoata laughed at the teenagers innocence searching for the Hirau tree while gathering berries too. The girls wandered off talking about men!
Hoata said they needed a man's help but Ahu said "No, let the men feel good fishing together".
"...and talking" replied Hoata "...that is all men do. When they fish they talk, when they return they talk. However I'm glad Kamaka has Ahuahu as a friend because they laugh a lot"
"We laugh a lot too" said Ahu, looking down so not to convey the true meaning. Hoata noticed the look straight away saying "I could laugh more without two girls at home!"
The women had by this time found the tree cut and packed several pieces of the wood in their baskets. Hoata was about to call out for the girls when there was a scream and crashing through the undergrowth.
"Pakeha!" screamed Hinewai, The two mothers froze at the words pulling the teenager into the dense vegetation and telling her to be silent.
"Where's Hatiti?" Crying, Hinewai just shook her head. They lay still before they heard movement close by as two stangers slashed the bushes with their weapons. The three stayed quiet and luckily the babies slept on as the men passed by deep into the trees.
"Go home Ahu" Hoata said handing her baby to Hinewai, "I'll find Hatiti" Ahu nodded her head and handed her the machete and started off with Hinewai with the babies to the village.
This story is part of an episode from a serial I posted many years ago somewhat altered to fit the maximum word count. If you want to read the whole series click on Ahu in the labels link where there are another 108 episodes plus flow on stories as well of Maori life and legends. Total 306 words in above story. 'Pakeha' means 'White man' or 'Stranger'.
Image found at https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin6403624443835370/?lp=true
That's wonderful, Robin. Enthralling and convincing, both. Now of course I want to read the rest!
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely riveting, Robin! I hope Hoata finds Hatiti in time ❤️ and like Rosemary I too would love to read more episodes.
ReplyDeleteWow! Thank you Robin for presenting an unknown world so much to shudder about. Isn't it sad when mention of some people send chill through the spine?
ReplyDeleteI like the interaction between the girls, the easy conversation, the way they talk about men and about their own behaviors...
ReplyDeleteThe change when they see Pakeha is so real, the darkening of the mood says everything...
I enjoyed the world you depict here, Robin. Your story does indeed, read like an extract of longer works or book, now that you mention it's part of a series. I guess I'll have to revisit the link for further reading!
ReplyDeleteRobin, this was so interesting! It really grabbed my attention. I loved looking at a slice of life in a different locale. Really good writing.
ReplyDeleteSuch a wonderful point of view, and such a real fear. Strangers often means trouble... good they made it safe.
ReplyDeleteSuch a captivating story you have weaved Robin. I would love to read your longer version.
ReplyDeleteThis is a powerful story. I really love it. You are so talented!
ReplyDeleteYou really know how to build suspense and fear. I like how you first describe the typical female banter, then introduce danger which captivates the reader. Well done Robing!
ReplyDeleteSorry, typo - Robin.
ReplyDeleteWow, this is a wonderful story! I enjoyed it especially as it showed me a new aspect of your writing. Now I want to know more.
ReplyDelete