Paul was seventeen. He hitched highway 1 from
Now less than two weeks later after sleeping down by the River Torrens or in the parklands that circled the city he was finally in a bed again! And clean!
He looked up at the paint flaking from the ceiling. The dog which had chosen to sleep in his room made snuffling noises in his sleep and he could hear Maisie fiddling about in the kitchen.
Her cooking was a bit basic, the house certainly needed a tidy up but for once in his life he felt relaxed. He went through his possessions again. His Mum’s new boyfriend; the indifference of his sisters who were too young to understand what had happened and the fact that their useless father had disappeared who knows where. He couldn’t live there anymore so decided on a break.. He left his family in
“I’ll give Maisie $50 to start”.
“I’ll never go back, not in a thousand years” he murmured. He got up, went to the door and switched the light off then felt his way back to bed. Even Maisie was quiet now and night fell on the household. (331 words)
I enjoyed this story. Very descriptive Would love to learn how this will unfold.
ReplyDeleteI too would like to learn how this unfolds. You know I love your poetry – I think I might love your prose even better.
ReplyDeleteWhat a complete and rich story - you leave us wanting more
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your Australian coming of age story, Robin, and I would love to know what happened to Paul. I love the way you described his first sight of the city and am relieved he didn’t live on the streets for too long. The story of a boy or girl being ousted by their mum’s new boyfriends isn’t new and that’s the reason many of the homeless in the world ended up on the streets. It’s a shame they can’t all find a Maisie.
ReplyDeleteIs there a sequel?
ReplyDeleteThis was an edited version from a chapter in a short series written about Maisie a scavenging old lady in Adelaide, South Australia several years ago who collected rubish from waste bins. (click on 'Maisie' in Labels bar on right) to read more).
DeleteI hope the young man finds what he needs on his adventures. Having a dog nearby certainly seems like a promising start.
ReplyDeleteA good story makes you want to know what happens next and this one did that. I never realized how many Poets United are from Australia.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this coming-of-age story. :)
ReplyDeleteNice, appetizer Robin
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday
Much💝love
I enjoyed that the story reads like the beginning of a rest of his life. The doors are left open to all sorts of possibilities and imaginings. And I love that something as seemingly small as a teacher saying she came from the place, helped the main character choose a whole city.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed the feeling of journey and then comfort at the end, so short but very evocative...although it ended just as I was ready for the next line. :)
ReplyDeleteYou drew us in to Paul's story, and left us all wanting to know more! Well done, Robin.
ReplyDeleteAn opening for further reading. This can't be a sad story if there's a dog in it, right?
ReplyDeletethis is the kind of writing to read during the early hours of the morning with a steaming cup of tea or coffee. calm and peaceful.
ReplyDeleteHope there's a part 2....
ReplyDeleteDoes the story continue, or only in our imaginations?
ReplyDelete