Wednesday, 6 March 2013
She rested in my arms her face so close to mine that her sweet breath transferred to me. The scent of her body enveloped me and my mental camera captured this scene. This moment should last for ever I mused but I knew that she was not sleeping she had something to say, but didn’t know how to say it. When we had met there was something missing, her eyes did not speak to me. So she lay there thinking and perhaps savouring this last moment of our lives together too. Our affair had lasted some time, it was good because we laughed a lot and had a passion that was almost brutal in our eagerness to possess the other. Foolishly we made impossible plans of a life together; impossible because of the difficulties involved, impossible because of the hurt that we would cause to so many others. How long had we played this game, this dream that was built on sand that shifted a little everyday as the winds of truth swirled all around us? I stroked her arm and as if this was the sign, the signal that she needed she looked into my face sadly and groped for the words that I had known would come one day. “I am leaving you.” Or perhaps, “This is not going to work”; no it would be “We cannot continue like this.” It is funny that all these years later I don’t remember the words. Why should I? I didn’t want to hear them. Already the realisation had put me in shock; she no longer belonged to me. It really was over.