Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Commuting


Back from town again
As all of us commuters
Jostle for a seat

Stare down the tall man
Grab the last seat by the girl
With a fragrant scent

I’m in paradise
Our knees touch each other
She leaves at my stop

Her perfume lingers
Just a remnant of a smile
and we separate

10 comments:

  1. made me wonder if she was with you all along.

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  2. The perfect telling of a brief meeting. Your use of details and descriptors make this a lovely read.

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  3. But if it's a regular bus route, you may meet again.

    Lovely, particularly the parting smile.

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  4. The fragrance lingers..just for a while..sometimes these encounters make a day..or the end of an unpleasant journey..I enjoy when you take us on your poetry train..there is a transparency..an honesty..which is a treasure..Jae

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  5. As the old film title had it, "Brief Encounter."

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  6. Nice poem, or should I say poems?

    Wander

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  7. "A remnant of a smile" is a beautiful way to remember the moment, her, the possibilities that fuel our hopes and dreams. Very beautiful poem, a vision, a hope, pleasure that lingers on. This is how I like to leave poetry...smiling to myself over happy memories.

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  8. It is a gift when you are able to evoke more than one emotion with little movement and such few words.

    I love knowing that people can love each other so simply.

    This left me sitting still for a moment, breathing the scent in.

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